A Witch’s Guilt

By: Michelle Nedboy

I’ve never wished for anything.

To say I’d rather return to my childhood

and slip away from this callous life,

this life that leaves me nauseated and helpless,

heaving in the middle of the night.

Like an ill creature, heaving and gasping

from the vivid nightmares that poison my thoughts,

and the hourly obsessions that are my thoughts.

To say I’d rather experience rebirth

than the spiraling guilt I feel from

those who’ve died

because of me and

because of my curse

would be one insidious lie.

I’ve been guilty all my life

from the day I hatched,

upsetting my mother and father

with my sex and appearance.

They wanted male

they got female.

They wanted peaches and cream

they got green.

To grow up green and mean.

To grow up with a broken sister and a healing father,

a dead mother leaving her damaged daughters.

To grow up simply because they decided

it was right.

Is that not the worst curse of them all?

What was I spared?

From the mixed stares

as my own father compared me to demons,

my skin a sign of something evil.

I was just a girl.

The nicer ones pitied me.

I didn’t need their pity.

In my endless quest to become

the perfect daughter,

do I thank my father for

making me stronger?

Or do I resent him for what he did to me?

It doesn’t matter now. He’s dead.

I blame myself.

And soon I’ll be dead too,

if I can help it.

Murdered—by a girl!

They say she’s sweet.

They say she’s as sweet and

fairy-like as morning dew.

I think it’s sickly.

Justice is due.

For killing my sister and for

marching around in her shoes.

My shoes.

Like some kind of warrior

showing off her kill,

they drip in red from her blood.

They yearn for their true owner.

I’ve never wished for anything,

except for what’s rightfully mine.

I was once called “Elphaba the Delirious,”

but I don’t feel guilty.

I feel fine.

Haven’t I earned it?

I feel fine.

They’re coming to kill me.

I feel fine.


A version of this post originally appeared in “Tenacity” The Teller October 2019 Issue #7

Most Recent Posts


December Horoscopes

December 1, 2019 by Teller Oracle

December Horoscopes


November Horoscopes

November 1, 2019 by Teller Oracle

The month of the Scorpio



October 1, 2019 by Teller Oracle

The month of the Libra

Creative Graduation Gifts for the Ones you Love

May 1, 2020 by Teller Oracle

By Marissa Ammon Let’s face it, seniors who are graduating high school or college in 2020 are going to need some encouragement to get through this difficult time during their last year of school. The best way to show how much we appreciate them is to give them a present that they will treasure forever.  … Read more

Feminist and Proud

May 1, 2020 by Teller Oracle

By Sarah Cunningham I don’t enjoy sharing my opinion with others. Actually as a rephrase, I used to enjoy sharing my opinions with others. Anyone can agree that having a conversation with those who have extreme mentalities and are eager to argue is unbearable. It definitely seems that I’ve had way too many of those.… Read more

Fast-Tracking Your Way to Resilience

May 1, 2020 by Teller Oracle

By Pamela Loperena Resilience is the psychological backbone of the human mind. It serves as a source of strength for people to rely on after enduring trauma, misfortune or disaster. Resilience helps individuals adjust to negative life situations with greater ease, allowing them to remain calm, even when all odds are against them. Without the… Read more

Even If You Can’t Vote Your Top Choice, Voting Is Still A Privilege And Your Responsibility

May 1, 2020 by Teller Oracle

By Sarah Bale I woke up on April 8in the midst of a pandemic to the news that Senator Bernie Sanders was ending his campaign for the 2020 presidential election. Soon after, floods of individuals on social media stated that they will not vote in the November election because Sanders is not the Democratic nominee.… Read more View all posts

#MichelleNedbody #October2019 #Poetry

Let the posts
come to you.

Thanks for submitting!

  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter