Breathing Through a Broken Heart

by Emily Trama

No one has broken my heart quite as many times as I have. I have brawls with people in my head, but when I open my eyes there is no one in front of me. I dream up scenarios of those I care about ripping me apart and hurting me in ways the real version of them never have and probably never will. Sometimes they really are hurting me, but it is my own mind that betrays the light between the cracks in my heart and shatters it. 

When I find myself sinking into moments like these, I take a step back and breathe… 

Lay down, close your eyes and take a deep breath; inhaling for four, holding for three, and exhaling for seven. Relax your body as you feel yourself sinking into the ground. Now, place one hand over your heart, the chakra for love and healing. Feel the warmth that lays between the two parts of the body. Imagine that warmth as a ball of light that now effortlessly passing through the skin and into the heart. What does the heart look like with light within it? Do you see a faint glow as the heart conceals the ball? Are there streams of light poking out of its cracks? Does there seem to be more light than heart?

No matter who hurts us, whether it be our family, friends, significant others, strangers or even ourselves, no one can heal us but us. We heal through acceptance. We must accept ourselves for who we are. The point is not to try to seal the holes and cracks in our hearts, but to accept them and appreciate the beautiful way the light shines through those holes and cracks. We can try and put bandaids all over it by asking questions, trying to rationalize what we don’t understand. No one will ever give you the same closure that you can by appreciating and loving yourself.

Healing is not always something physical. Love for yourself is healing. Appreciation for yourself is healing. Acceptance of yourself is healing. Feeling the warmth of the light that shines within you is healing.

Now, tighten every muscle you can; clench your fists, curl your toes, grind your teeth, hold your breath. Hold this for one, two, three, four… release and allow yourself to sigh out all of your pain. Do this again as many times as you need, tensing your body more and more each time. Let everything go with the last sigh. Allow a smile to come across your face- the smiles that others bring you will never be as beautiful as the ones you bring yourself.


Relaxation Recommendations:

  1. Record yourself reading this meditation to play back later- hearing these words come from yourself can really help remind you that you are the one in control of your own healing

  2. Come back from your meditation by writing down things you love about yourself or new intentions you want to set


A version of this originally appeared in “Healing” The Teller December 2019 Issue #9

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