Cutting Off the Toxicity

by Lara Morales

One of the biggest insecurities I had before coming to college was whether or not I would be able to make friends. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before I found people I vibed with. Friends are great- you’ll end up making memories with these people and they’ll be a part of some of the most amazing moments of your life. You’ll keep in touch with some of these people for years to come. However, there comes a point where sometimes you have to let go of people you once considered your closest friends.

It’s hard to let go of people. Depending on how long you’ve known someone, you might feel like you’re obligated to continue on the friendship you have with them. If there isn’t a good reason to stay friends with someone, though, you shouldn’t. The now famous Marie Kondo quote, “Does this spark joy?” comes to mind. If you are currently putting energy into someone who does not give you the same type of support you give them, or someone who is constantly putting you down or belittling you, it might be time to cut them out.

Whether or not you give an explanation is up to you. Every relationship is different. If this friend was more of a nuisance than “toxic”, you might feel like you owe them your reasoning. In that case, you might not even have to give them an explanation. By creating space between you and your friend, you can stop yourself from engaging with their annoying behavior and get your message across without any words.

In the end, you have to do what is best for you. If you truly feel like your life would be better without a certain person, you should take initiative and remove them from your life. You aren’t being selfish; you’re doing what’s best for you. I think a common misconception is that once you aren’t friends with someone, you don’t care about them. I think that you can love people from afar, and that your mental health should be put first.


A version of this post originally appeared in “Clarity” The Teller May 2019 Issue 6

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