my temporary identity
By: Emma Boyle
i know everything
i know my breath
i know yours
i know i’m never not sure
and that’s why i want a mystery
i want colors to be muddy and grey
i want to decipher and decode
thoughts said
words thought
i want to show how to paint in colors
the colors on my face the colors on my clothes the colors of my
i want to give endless colors
(i can be your kaleidoscope)
just don’t show me your true hues just yet
melt me
harden me
chip at me
make me into your key
don’t let me in
i want to wonder what you’re thinking
don’t tell me
tell me
maybe mystery isn’t for me
i wish i wasn’t insecure
i wish that your soul wasn’t a door
i wish i wasn’t always unsure
with you
only
you just
you
have no clarity
the unknown is the only thing i know
and im lusting over the feeling of feeling
so i can learn to unknow
and im feeling so i can just lust over lust
so the unknown can be known
its ambiguity has
restricted
conflicted
contradicted
my lust for knowledge,
my knowledge of lust,
but still
i know everything unknown
i know the paralysis of lies
i know feelings unsaid
i know life is a glamorous delusion
i know things you dont know
but truthfully
i dont know shit
cause
i dont know myself
i’ll tell you to take a shot at me
and i know it’ll wrong your rights
but
i know you’ll feel so much better
and i know that
a song will sing in your eyes when you
feel your knuckles knock into my chilled chin
i’m starting to hear it
hear the hitch in your breath before you break my nose
a beautiful melody!
make the grunts and groans as you green yellow purple black and blue my bones
do i hear a flute?
taste the rusted disgust drying your tongue when it tightens onto your teeth
is this Mozart? or Beethoven?
look at my flesh it used to be fresh
i know!
don’t worry about it!
i’m happy this helped!
Aint nobody praying